I’m not only going to share the things that I wish I was told about adoption prior to doing it, but the things I’m glad I was told as well. Keep in mind this list pertains primarily to state adoptions:
Whether you give birth, or adopt, if you haven’t met the child prior, you really never know what you will get in regard to special needs.
The process of waiting and emotional ups and downs will better prepare you for the road ahead.
Get involved with a support group! Being in one ourselves, my husband and I had a better understanding of how the system worked.
The waiting is more difficult than I could have imagined.
Take classes, read books, build a resume of special needs training so you will stand out among other waiting families.
Be prepared for ignorant comments by well meaning people. It’s harder to hear a stupid remark about adoption related things when you’re emotionally wrapped up in it. Be prepared to kindly educate others.
Know who does what in your state office. Keep your worker’s name, their supervisor, your certifier (if applicable) on hand. Once a child is placed, keep the child’s worker’s contact information on hand in addition to their supervisor, the child’s CASA, and attorney.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Check in and make sure your case worker never forgets who you are.
It is typical for families to go to more than one committee or staffing before they are selected to be parents.
There are vast resources online including state policies, and online support groups where you can ask questions.
Spend lots of time with your spouse or family prior to the adoptive placement because your life will truly change.
I found a deeper appreciation for my children as a result of what my husband and I went through to get them. In addition, I found a love that I didn’t know existed before becoming…
http://adoption.families.com/blog/things-i-wish-i-was-told-about-adoption
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